Growing Up Undocumented, Hip-Hop & Catholic: A Memoir

Undocumented, Hip-Hop Culture, and Catholicism are realities at the core of my identity by accident, by choice, and by vocation. The label of “illegality” imposed on me for not having or being able to obtain a nine-digit number, a Social Security number, in the U.S.A., created in me a type of chaotic anger and a sense of deep-seated disconnection. However, this became a gateway to see life from the vantage point of Christ's Cross, no matter its harshness. This continues to fuel my gut and will with a strong conviction of the sacredness in humanity and in creation, even if, at times, their ugliness has made me doubt it. The redemptive features of Hip-Hop have intoxicated me with its prophetic power and gifted me with the possible articulation of righteous indignation rather than an irate rant. My newly, yet old, Catholicism has given me a space to find reconciliation and resilience. These three areas have not only been places of conflict, because of their misogyny, homophobia, trivial self-righteousness, and political terrorism, but they have become places of encounter. I wish I could only speak of their beauty, but I would be presenting a corrupted image of them. To understand my life as an “Illegal Alien in the First World," my Catholicism and Hip-Hop Culture, I must place their beauty and corruption parallel to each other to understand and perceive the deep hope and life that can emanate from them. Through this exercise, I have met, and at times crashed into, the irreverent presence of the Faithful and Iconoclastic Source of All Being, God, Who, through the Graces of the Holy Spirit, uplifts my chaos, and through Jesus the Christ, suffers and rejoices with me.